The Cradle - The Rod - The Staff

Fierce yet Gentle Lover of my Soul and Guardian of my Salvation

It has been a minute I know! The locked down lifestyle that COVID introduced when I first started this blog, provided a rare and coveted calm to the hustle/bustle American life. While I don't mean to speak fondly of a tragic time, sickness—more often than not—forces us to be still. Where can you go but to the feet of Jesus if in fact His Spirit resides in you? How can you boast in your wealth, health, beauty, fame, ability, talent, possessions, when you're hanging on to dear life by a thread? Suddenly, you become like the dust from which you were made. Immediately, you are faced with the fragility of your humanity. Inevitably, you call out to the one who holds your tiny little life in the palm of His hands...Sorry I got lost in the poetry y'all😅. But here's my point, God has given me an aptitude for expression through words, yet it lies dormant until He holds the ticking hands of time to a standstill, drawing me to a complete and utter halt. And in this stillness, something very beautiful regenerates from the inside and empowers my magnetic fingertips to type to His glory. All in all, I am convicted to retreat from the crowd, the noise, the busy to sit at His feet today. To listen and listen some more. To Know Him increasingly and the power of His resurrection. To testify of the wonder through this cherished gift of writing. My bingers, please hold a sister accountable! Today, I share with you an extraordinary encounter with God that has affirmed and expanded who I know Him to be. Experiences should NOT drive your knowledge of God...His Word should. But experiences do color in the reality of His Word in a way that cements your faith like nothing else can.

The Unthinkable

Last year, May 2023, I docked the shores of the United States from Japan exhausted from the overly stimulating experience. Coming down from the high of the journey, I returned to the mundane which at the time seemed harmless. Hindsight is 20/20 they say and they right. A physical and spiritual decay ran concurrently until the two melded into one big catastrophe. Upset with the inconsistent bible study attendance, feeling oddly estranged in a sea of people, reevaluating this overrated work-from-home deal, and frustrated by what seemed like zero eligible—emphasis on eligible—bachelors, a dark hole of sexual fantasy ensued. All while popping Excedrin round the clock to temporarily assuage unrelenting and debilitating headaches; a new pain I had never known. What I thought was a normal sin struggle turned out to be spiritual rebellion and what I thought was a chronic migraine was actually a 4 inch brain tumor...

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want [for anything]."

Psalm 23:1

On February 24th, 2024, I decided to take an uber to the ER for a headache that sealed me in slumber for 48 hours straight. It was no big deal...just needed some pain meds via IV to hold me over a little longer. Once restored, I was on my way out the door when the ER nurse recommended a CT scan...a test destined to reroute the trajectory of my bruised Faith. In a flash, I was rushed in an ambulance to a larger hospital for emergency brain surgery. My mom jumped on a red-eye flight, Lorene choked on her tears, my Houston family: LeNette, baby J, Stephanie, Satiah and Nikki G. encircled my hospital bed all while I was wrapping my head around the unthinkable. Could this really be how it all ends for me? Did I give this race my all? Regret weighed heavy, suffocating my thoughts with an insurmountable flood of shoulda/couldas.

"He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters."

Psalm 23:2

After the MRI scan results came in, the neurosurgeon strolled into my room not nearly as panicked as his staff. "We believe you have Meningioma. It is a relatively large tumor, however, it is likely not benign. You don't need emergency surgery today, but you do need surgery soon." I don't know if those were his exact words, but I want you to relive this moment with me. I was both relieved and terrified. I had two weeks to get my house in order for what could be my last day among the living.

"He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake."

Psalm 23:3

It's two weeks before the surgery and all I could think of was how badly God was breaking my heart. Eventually, the Holy Spirit convicted me of my own rebellion, but I chose to dig my heels in a little deeper. My heart reverted to stone as I drafted my Will and prepared my job for my indefinite departure. But God being true to Himself, remained faithful to me. The more He drew near, the more I resisted His embrace. Almost everyday of the week He sent an agent of glory to my very doorstep unearthing His divine kindness towards me. Monday, it was Jessica, Joe and Shiloh. Tuesday, it was Mikaela and her unpacking/cleaning team. Wednesday, it was LeNette and baby J. Thursday, it was Tricia, Agya, Samantha and Lydia. Friday, it was Stephanie, Maxine, Peter, Praba and Eliezer. Saturday, it was Nikki G., Satiah, Michaela, Emma, Auntie Charity, Uncle Michael. Sunday, it was Fafa and Priscilla. Again on Monday Jalissa, Grace O., Tosin and Nonye. Again on Tuesday Mariah, Liz and Joana. Again on Wednesday Jayson, Fiona and Feebi. Again on Thursday, Lorene, mom and dad from LA and my wonderful big brother Neil from New York. Again on Friday, Nana Amma. Again on Saturday, Sile. And again and again and again! And those who could not physically cradle me in their arms, feed and comfort me showered me in equally beautiful ways. Vibrantly beautiful flowers from Nikki T; deliciously edible arrangements from Gifty; hundreds of dollars worth of grocery from Sabine; a warm and fuzzy care package from Deania, Caley and Noah; daily calls of affirmation from my mom, Lorene, Neil, Jamise, Grace Kenney, Nana Ohene, Jeffrey A., Godfred, Enoch, Gloria, Sabine... A support fund gathered by work family: Sabine, Lindsey, Fernando, Derrick, Mavis, Katie, Lesly, Jeffrey G., Allison, Beri, Amy, Trent, Eric, Melissa, Sarah, Matt, Sonya, and Anoli. An additional petition from my co-workers for thousands of dollars to subsidize my pay during my leave! Love texts from my big sister Lucille, my dad, Kandice, Daphney, Ogechi, Alyssa, Sonya, Katie, Sarah, Anoli, Lindsey, Nana Ama, Linda, Nana Entsuah, Clayvion, Erin, Benji, Kendra, Kenny, Shirin, Sam...an unending list. A week before the surgery Jayson and Fiona recruited prayer warriors to engage in a one week fast and bible study on my behalf. God was smothering me with kisses and yet and still I resisted.

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me."

Psalm 23:4

The night before surgery, one of best friends, Stephanie and my beloved little sister, Lorene rallied more of God's agents of glory to pray for me via zoom. 20-ish people deep. Lorene, mom and I crouched around the laptop as we prayed, inhaling encouragement and exhaling tears laced with fear and hope. At the end of the call, Stephanie and Lorene announced that my community—from all over the world—had donated several—emphasis on several—thousands of dollars to support me through this tragedy. Convicted like Peter when he miraculously caught all that fish, I curled up ashamed. I begged the givers to take their money back for I knew I deserved no such generosity. Neil, Stephanie, Lorene, Ben, Enoch, Nana Ohene, Tricia, Agya, Grace Kenney, Nikki T, Nikki G., Gloria, Grace O., Jessica, Irene, Joana, Maxine, Peter, LeNette, Priscilla, Hannah, Emmanuel, Jayson, Fiona, Fafa, Daphney, Tosin, Kandice, Nonye, Clayvion, Sharon, Naa Abia, Nana Ama, Auntie Gina, Auntie Vida, Auntie Esther, Auntie Jane, Uncle Hickson, and Uncle Gordon, collectively refused to be refunded for a greater gift from above was being sown into their hearts. God's grip tightened and I finally repented and surrendered. It was the kindness of God that brought me to my knees (Romans 2:4). Drowning in my tears, I could not sustain my breath as I allowed myself to be submerged in the love of Christ. This moment made a lasting, indelible, impression on my life.

"Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over."

Psalm 23:5

On March 15th, 2024, thunder lightening and rain consumed the city of Houston, anxiety seized the hearts of my loved ones around the globe and I disappeared into unconsciousness as God enabled the hands of surgeons to heal me. A running prayer Zoom call remained open for the duration of the 12 hour surgery as several agents of glory petitioned God on my behalf. A true wonder of the body of Christ to behold. After the anesthesia wore off, I opened my swollen eyes to search the space and assess the conclusion of the matter. Indeed, God had brought me back to the land of the living. Let me be abundantly clear, dying is no issue. Bingers, did you know that to die is actually gain? Do you know the victory in my story is not that I lived to see another day? No! Being alive for being alive's sake is no prize at all. Christ is my great reward. To live is for Christ and for Christ alone. I glory in being alive today more than I did yesterday because it's God's way of telling me I am still useful for His Kingdom. What an incalculable honor? What a thrust of grace? And when my time is up, I will be content knowing I gave this race my all for the Lord! God prepared a table before our greatest adversary who was after my kingdom impact. Tempting me into sin and rebellion. But new life has been resuscitated within me. May I never see the darkness of a harden heart for as long as I live.

"Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever."

Psalm 23:6

The Perpetual and Constant Redemption:

God does not dwell in temples made by human hands (Acts 17:24) but instead His Spirit lives in you and I who are called according to His purpose and good pleasure (1 Corinthians 6:9). The full scope of my salvation is the real miracle in this story. That God would love so deeply, so profoundly, so sacrificially to give up His only son, Jesus Christ, so that I may be justified and have eternal life through Him. And He did not stop there, but proceeded to gift me His Spirit, the same Spirit that rose Jesus Christ from the dead to live inside me—a jar of clay (2 Corinthians 4:7). And even after giving me everything, He continues to draw from the well of eternity to purify me through sanctification...

...So that I may walk in step with the Spirit and fulfill the good works He has predestined me to do (Galatians 5:16; Ephesians 2:10).

...So that my suffering may produce endurance and endurance produce character, and character produce hope that does not put me to shame (Romans 5:3-5).

The tumor, the surgery, the financial dilemma were all producing endurance. The painful road to recovery, the embarrassing weight gain, the humbling dependency on Lorene, my mom, Fafa and Priscilla as my caretakers were all pruning my character. Bingers, as I stand before you healed both physically and spiritually, I cling to an unshakeable hope in this: He who began a good work in me will surely complete it; for ALL things—the good, the bad, the ugly—are working for my good and more importantly for His glory.

Acts 4:8-12

"Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them: “Rulers and elders of the people! If we are being called to account today for an act of kindness shown to a man who was lame and are being asked how he was healed,  then know this, you and all the people of Israel: It is by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified but whom God raised from the dead, that this man stands before you healed. Jesus is...

“‘the stone you builders rejected, which has become the cornerstone.’

Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.”

So come! All who are weary, broken, sick in sin and heavy-laden,

Come.

Come, offload at His feet.

Come, surrender to the King.

Come, be healed and made whole.

Come rest in Jesus Christ, the savior of the world. Amen 🙏🏿